these days...

Coming back to the US after two years as a Peace Corps Volunteer means encountering many expected and unexpected challenges. Before returning, Peace Corps does their best to brace you for the anticipated ones. Volunteers are given lists of possible frustrations, tips for reestablishing personal and professional lives and, of course, personal accounts of other RPCVs (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers). In these personal accounts, the grocery store is almost always cited as ground zero for culture shock. Each one I have read has gracefully articulated the sudden realization that there are just too many options while standing in the cereal isle. For me, it was salad dressing. It suddenly became clear to me how there could be an obesity epidemic as I stood motionless in the middle of the isle. Currents of whining children and frazzled mothers passed me on both sides while miles of cookies, soda and potato chips stretched off into the distant horizon.

I find myself hesitant in almost all public places, especially if there is an exchange of currency for merchandise involved. Each step takes much more cognitive preparation than necessary and the smallest tasks become overwhelming. I remind myself not to stare, slack jawed and stupid eyed, as I take in the millions of products that seem to spring from the earth in a locust-like manner. I like to “practice.” I go to the grocery store and wander for hours before returning to buy groceries. I scope out department stores with awe and terror, but have yet to purchase anything. When I realized that I would need a cell phone, I painstakingly researched the newest technology - and after two years… it was frightening - so that I could at least appear a little savvy underneath the “deer-in-the-headlights” look I knew would give me away.

I picked a day to go make my purchase and set up a plan. That morning I made sure to get up as usual, go for my morning run and eat a hearty breakfast. I examined my scarce wardrobe and picked clothes that I felt said “I am mature and capable, despite the fact that I am unemployed and intimidated by your technology.” It seemed to work while I led the associate around the store, asking various questions and carefully examining each shining model in front of me. Thankfully, it was busy. I shared the associate with other customers and was grateful for the break so that I could walk to the corner and appear to scrutinize a certain phone and its accessories while actually giving myself a pep talk and casting cursory glances to make sure no one had caught on.

After a modest amount of time, I chose the most simple phone available (no berries for me, thank-you-very-much), and proceeded to the counter to sign away my life and keep my spinning head under control as the associate read me my rights. I must admit, I was pretty proud of myself while the numbers were transferred from my ancient phone to the sleek little piece of equipment I could now call my own. I could not help but smile as I congratulated myself for not only keeping my cool, but accomplishing the task at hand.

The same self-assured smile was painted across my lips as I walked to my car. It was a beautiful day, I was capable and… my purse was making a strange noise. I didn’t know what to think. I had only purchased this phone a few minutes ago and it was already ringing. Curious, I answered.

“Hello.”

“Hello. Ms. Flood?” a voice responded.

“Yes. Who is this please?”

“I am calling from the _________ store where you just purchased your cell phone. You seem to have left your wallet here.”

I nearly choked on my smug grin as I turned around and headed back to retrieve my things. My humility returned to me in time to make a smooth recovery, and I arrived at home later unscathed with both my wallet and new cell phone in tow. I have since encountered other challenges and anticipate many more as I reestablish myself, but this particular one has stayed with me. Strength and support sometimes come in the most unexpected places and in such a large and intimidating world, it is nice to know that there are people watching out for you.